Empower Yourself

Why Emotional Intelligence matters in relationships

Emotional intelligence is the ability to regulate your emotions for a positive outcome. It’s trusting that your feelings are in sync with your thoughts. It’s the art of using your new brain, the neocortex to make sense of what you are feeling in your reptilian /old brain. It’s also about reading the signs of what you are feeling before your emotions burst out. If you can recognise the emotion/feeling and then label it, you’ll feel in control of your feelings. When you are in control of your own feelings you’re better able to tolerate the feelings of others.

Emotions are human

We can only react through feeling sad, angry, happy or joyful. And it’s crucial for our existence that we experience these emotions although we don’t always know how to express them. Emotional intelligence helps us to interpret our feelings so that we can react more rationally. In some instances its fine to jump up and down with joy. It’s not always helpful though when you’re in a group of people who are not feeling too happy. So it’s also about observing your environment to help you to react appropriately.

How do you achieve Emotional Intelligence?

  • Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel
  • Take ownership of the feeling
  • Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed at what you are feeling
  • If the feeling is anger distract yourself from the situation
  • When the anger has dissipated return and discuss the matter using your rational brain\

Parts of brain showing Neocortex and Reptilian complex

IQ versus EQ (from Forbes)

An excellent way to find out just how emotionally intelligent you are, and to improve your communication skills, is to complete the EQ-i 2.0 assessment questionnaire. The results will not only give you the confidence to go forward, it will give you the guidelines to improve your communication with both people you work with and personal relationships. It will alter your life in a big way.

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